The Many Men In My Bed Sheets
by BillyBee11
Summary: TMMIMBS will make you laugh, make you cry, make you ask, ‘did that girl just get eaten by a gofer?’


The Many Men In My Bed Sheets  


The Story Of Tramie

Disclaimer: I do not own any! of the characters in this story except for Baby Ruth and Mary...(who I don't really own because she is a real person...although she doesn't act like this )

Summary: At last your dreams have come true, this is you time to shine, your time to know what it's like to be with your bishi. TMMIMBS will make you laugh, make you cry, make you ask, 'did that girl just get eaten by a gofer?'

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Deep in the forest there was a man named Bobin Hood. He, also went by the name of Van Fanel, he had wings. There once was a girl named Mary .She met van in the forest and at first she thought that he was copying Robin Hood, but in fact he was an original Bobin Hood.

Then one day Mary fell cough cough from a cliff and Bobin Van flew and saved her. Then they went back to his woods and they got freaky.

Mary then was shipped back to her homeland of ETITHERSHMAPOLAHEAVEN, where people with wings are not allowed. Van was sad that she had to leave, but she promised she would come back in 2 weeks.

On her way to ETITHERSHMAPOLAHEAVEN, Mary came upon a small town/village, there she met a man. He wasn't all man persay (he had all his 2 bits and peices). He was an hanyou and he had the cutest little ears. They got freaky, and then mary had to leave.

And the people of ETITHERSHMAPOLAHEAVEN didn't like half demons, so this hanyou named InuYasha stayed, and Mary promised him that she would be back in a week and a half.

The travel back to ETITHERSHMAPOLAHEAVEN was quite a long one. So it required for Mary to stop once again. She stopped in a place called, HUIKEISNDFCNDZIEO. Which would later become a popular city in Japan.

There she met another man named, Endymion, but he was evil, so that made him hot, and he looked really nice and hot in the armor. So she seduced him, using pie. And they did the horizontal mombo.

Sadly, she still had to go home, and the people of ETITHERSHMAPOLAHEAVEN, wouldn't like her bringing someone evil home, and she still had to visit her sick mother. So she promised him that she would return in 1 week and then they went their separate ways.

The journey soon ended, and she arrived back in ETITHERSHMAPOLAHEAVEN. She walked down the familiar street of MATTRLIEFULOPEWA, and to the familiar cottage that she called her own.

She walked up the steps and was greeted with a big hug from her little, yet very pregnant sister Baby Ruth (which would soon become a popular American chocolate bar).

Ruth, who was only 2 years younger than Mary, was married last spring to a man named Syoaran. Who she liked to call poopey pants. Mary personally never knew why.

But what Baby Ruth didn't know was that Mary and Syao were having an affair, and that Syao was paying for her travels to different cities, and her schooling to become a taxidermy (they stuff dead animals).

Then she saw him. Syao standing in the corner looking at her with lustful eyes, but then Baby Ruth's water broke. She was going to have the baby. So Syao stopped looking at Mary and rushed his wife to the mid wife.

Mary stayed at home alone with her sick mother who she hadn't seen yet. She went and visited her mother when she saw her old lover, Miroku. Who for some reason was her mother's doctor.

Instantly their gazes crossed paths and they realized that her mother was in a coma, and wouldn't really miss them. Well and the did the FUNKY MONKEY!! Reow

Some time later they realized that Baby Ruth was still in labor and Mary wanted to see the baby. And well Miroku he still needed to get his freak on at club freak on. 15 minutes later Mary was fixing her clothes and Miroku as well.

Then sadly, her vacation from schooling was over, and she needed to return the town that was near the forest where she met Van.

Now remember it is a long and LONELY journey. As she traveled by house she felt sick, they stopped and she threw up all over herself.

As she reached HUIKEISNDFCNDZIEO where she had met the handsome yet dangerous Endymion, she realized that she was in fact pregnant.

But who could be the father of this baby? Could it be Bobin Van? The Hanyou InuYasha, The handsome yet dangerous Endymion? Her ex- but not really ex-lover Miroku? OR her sister's husband Syao who happened to be her first boyfriend? Or was it that stable boy she had been traveling with and they occasionally got freaky with one another? She really didn;t know.

And there was no way to tell except women's intuition. (soon women's intuition would turn into what we call DNA)

Keeping her promise to Endymion, she had returned 1 week later, and he noticed that something was off. Then, she told him shocking news.

Baby Ruth had given birth to a boy named Frank, Frank Walton. Who was named after the stable boy who Baby Ruth had a crush on (Frank would soon be descovered to be FW's father and Baby Ruth's lover).

Endymion was shocked to say the least, but he and she left it at that. They did it only once, a day, for the 5 days she stayed there. Wait no it was 5 times in the 1 day she was there.

Soon she had to travel back to the forest and she came to a stop in the small village/town. InuYasha swept her off her feet, then he realized that she was pregnant. Mary tired to deny the fact, since she had been sleeping around with many men.

So he said she was and she...told him the baby was his and then they got their freak on.

But school was starting soon and she really needed to get back to the forest, and then she saw him. Flying through the sky so gracefully. And she knew (women's intuition kicking in there), that Van was in fact, the baby's father.

So she told him what she thought.

Van, being the stand up guy he is insisted that they were to be married, and so arrangements were made, but! War spread across the land and Van was summoned to go fight. And he did, he promised that he would return, and that they would be married. So they got their freak on and did the horizontal mombo, and then he left.

The long winter months started to roll in, and mary became....lonely. Then she met a demon returning from war, his name was Sesshomaru, and he was very good looking, it was very cold, and very lonely.

She wasn't that pregnant yet, so she figured what the hell, and they well, did it like rabid bunnies.

Then Sesshomaru was sent back to his home town, and then the war was over.

Van soon returned. Beaten and broken, as well as extremely drunk. And they well, got their freak on.

Many days later, they were tired they had been in bed getting their freak on for quite some days. I mean it was really lonely winter and they were apart a long time. So there they are lying together when the door knocks and who do you think that was? Emilo Estavez! The mighty duck man I swear to god.

After she turned off the movie "the night at the Roxbury". She answered the door, it was Endymion, he had come to take her away with him. But then he realized she was sleeping with another man! And then he wanted to kill van and van wanted to kill him.

Because you know, Mary was sweet and innocent and would never cheat on him with another man since they were having a child together, now would she?

Endy knew it wasn't worth his time, he decided to go become good and hang out with his princess and get her knocked up, so he left, but van wanted to know what was going on.

Mary decided to tell him the truth, and van was very upset, so upset that he had to leave, and so he left the house and flew away.

Then he returned he had forgot his money pouch (which would soon become known as a wallet). Then he left again, and went off to the watering whole (which would become a famous pub in England).

Mary was very upset she had only told Van about Endy, not about that others and she didn't know what to do.

So she wrote a letter and gave it to a carrier pigeon (which would then become e-mail). At home in ETITHERSHMAPOLAHEAVEN her sister Baby Ruth excepted the pigeon and read the letter.

It told Baby of her problem (minus the sleeping with Baby's husband part). Baby understood, she too was in the same predicament after all Frank Walton's father was the stable boy and not her husband Syaoran's. So she couldn't really give good advice.

So she decided to ask old town folk Jeeves (which would become 'Ask Mr. Jeeves'). And he, since he wasn't a woman, he couldn't give an answer (which would then be known as 404 error). So then both of them were screwed.

Mary decided to go to the watering hole to look for Van, and then as she entered she saw her angel

which was baby ruth (yes baby is her angel), but she decided van was more important and she looked for him.

She saw InuYasha and she thought that he would claim the child as his (which would later be known as paternity test shows on day time tv), and then he left with some women, who Mary didn't really pay attention to named Kagome.

Then she found van and he was drunk, and he seduced her and they got freaky. The morning after they got back together, and many months later, like her sister baby Ruth gave birth to a baby.

The one thing that van didn't understand was why the baby had 2 fuzzy ears atop his head.

THE END!

A.N.: Well I'd like to thank you for reading my crazy little fan fic inspired and written about my good friend Mary, who is also know as Tramie. This was written late at night, around 12:40 to about 1:40 and I was very tired. Its very crazy, but as you can read extremely funny! I hope you all enjoyed my little sense of humor, and my crazy late night writing

Shottsy: walks with readers in on mary...with some random anime guy character MARY! turns around and screams at readers AVERT YOUR EYES!!! AVERT YOUR EYES!

Mary: Hey what do you think this is? A free show? covers herself and 'partner' wink wink up

Shottsy: Alright people, shows over nothing to see here. shoes readers out Get a move on Mary leaves the room Shottsy goes over to the bed /I wonder who she's got here/ lifts up bed sheet and smirks Very nice

Okay and that's the end, don't forget to review! And if you just want to tell me what you think of my craziness do it, click that button at the bottom of the screen that says submit review, you know you wanna. That's right, I'm talking to you, yeah you, behind the computer screen with the hair. Yeah you know what I'm talking about Make your review I love to hear what people think of my insanity especially my shrink.

Later peeps,

Shottsy

P.s. Rosie, remember to wash those sheets!

P.P.S. If you want to know who that guy was, submit a review bawahahha


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